I hear you. Depression sucks as I know from personal experience. Please don’t beat yourself up over this. The thing about hobbies/interests and depression that’s been useful for me is to put whatever isn’t working on hold and remind myself depression is *cyclical*.
Your aquarium interest will reignite, or it won’t, in the long run. You’re not obligated to keep it up if it is no longer fun, just because you invested X amount of time/money, and you also don’t have to decide this minute whether you are permanently done with the hobby. This is NOT a *fail*, it’s a *hiatus*. Put the empty tank in a closet for a while, or somewhere else you don’t have to look at it daily. If after a year or two (or ten, even, if you’ve got storage), you still can’t muster up some enthusiasm, ditch the hobby and move on to something else. People change their focus all the time, and you’re allowed to, as well.
My aquarium used to be so lush, well maintained, and healthy, until one day when I went home everything was brown and dead. It was one of the things that used to make me happy and would stare at it for hours in admiration.
I’ve been going through depression and having a hard time maintaining it. Every time I look at it I feel so disappointed and have no energy to fix, trim, and change the water. I think I want to stop my hobby for a while because I don’t think I have the will and energy to take care of it since I can’t take care of myself. 😔
MD from MD’s Fish Tanks on YT says as soon as u realize ur aquarium is no longer making u happy, strip it down ASAP & rescape it. We get jaded with the same look for too long & once that happens, we begin to procrastinate with our maintenance & kinda just stop caring altogether. I just rescaped one of my tanks for this very reason & about to rescape another. We almost don’t recognize it when it first happens, but as soon as u do realize ur not happy, that means it’s time for a change. And then without even knowing it, u get all excited again at the thought of a brand new setup. Or at least I did, so it worked for me. GL OP 🙂
I’ve been going through the same exact thing. Haven’t had the energy to maintain my tanks and such. I don’t know if it means anything but you’re not alone at least
Yes I’m the same. I luckily didn’t loose any fish but my plants took a hit hard when my mental went downhill. I’m slowly getting back on track after some help from my local VA and I’ve chosen to try meds to help with my depression, anxiety, and ptsd and my aquariums actually are a great tool to help me take my mind away from whatever may be bothering me that day. So try to use it as motivation to get out of bed and make your tank again don’t give up on the hobby and don’t give up on trying to be happy it takes work but in the end it will all pay off
I just listened to a podcast episode of Aquarium Guys where they talk about burn out. This goes beyond that, so please take care of yourself. Try to get some sun, go for walks, laugh, spend time in nature, eat as healthy as possible, and cut back on maintenance for the tanks. When you decide to try again, set yourself up for success with a low maintenance tank. The hobby shouldn’t feel more like a burden than a help to you. Be well!
It’s OK hun.. It’s more important to take care of yourself. Try not to be hard on yourself because it’s not your fault.
I understand depression completely..and it’s going to be OK. I promise you that. Just clean it up and put it in the garage or basement until you decide what you want to do with it. Keeping it in your area is only going to make you feel worse.
I hope you take time to take care of yourself. Reading the comments on here really warmed my heart seeing how supportive this community is of each other.
Take your time until you feel up to it. My betta died in my 5 gallon and I didn’t feel like maintaining my tank anymore, I wouldn’t even top it off and now it has calcium deposits halfway through the tank. I got the energy 2 months later to do it again and decided to go bigger this time and set up a rimless 10 gallon. I loved it and got a new gourami and was just about to add more fish after waiting a month of it cycling when it started leaking and I had to take it down. I felt like I was forcing myself to remake it, but I didn’t want my plants or fish to die in their temporary bucket. Take your time, and when you feel up to doing it again just tell yourself it’ll be a lot better this time.
I was in the same boat a few years ago. Tank looked awful after neglecting a tank due to depression and every time I’d look at it, it made it worse and made my anxiety sky rocket for the rest of the day. What helped was to just get it over with, taking down the tank that is. It then sat in the corner of my room(living at my parents at the time) for years, empty. Just a few big lava rocks that now had calcium build up covering them. Whatever leftover equipment and crap. I just left it there because I knew in a small part of me that I still loved fish tanks and wanted to get back into it. It took a few years, but when I moved out, I got back into it. Here I am, 4+ years later at 21yr old, loving this hobby. It may not be the same for you, but if there’s still that small part of you that wants to do it again in the future, just store it 🙂 or like others said, just do plants, set the light on a timer, throw in some root tabs every few months and top off the water once a week. Focus on you though 🙂 do what you feel like you want to do.
It’s okay to quit if you’re feeling burned out! I started back when I was still a kid (parents were into it)…and I’ve been in and out of the hobby at different points in my life, over the years.
I seem to always come back to it, as overall I find it to be very stress relieving and therapeutic for me personally. But I’ve still had times where I had made mistakes, got too busy and overwhelmed with other things in life, or experienced a really bad disease breakout that wiped out an entire tank. 🙁
Sometimes taking a break for a while is the best thing to do in those cases. Fish deaths are unfortunately a part of the hobby at times, despite our best efforts, and it’s just something we’ve all experienced before, especially when we are new and learning. But it can be hard and turn people off from the hobby.
For me I’ve found it was definitely easier each time I came back to the hobby. Every time I got to try out something new or different, and it reinvigorated my passion. New products pop up, new trends, new groups/communities, new YouTubers/influencers. The hobby is constantly evolving.
You can definitely come back and try again in the future when you feel excited about it again! Many of us have been there, and came back again. And if you don’t, that’s okay too, there are plenty of other hobbies out there to explore.
I have 8 freshwater 40s in my garage if I didn’t have them on a drip system and everything on timers no way I’d survive. Honestly best thing to do is invest in automatic everything I have a drip in and out system setup plus all my lights are on timers. Also my two show tanks I’ve added these to and it’s made my life way easier next step is auto doser the all I have to do is gravel vac every few months and I’m all set.
Nothing wrong with storing your tank away while you get your head straight. Just set my tank back up after a year and a half bout with depression. It’s unfortunate that depression makes us quit the things we love the most. Nothing but love and best wishes friend.
Things get better,or you find a way to make them better. I hope one of the two happen for you! Beautiful tank! I was unaware that this happens to alot of other people in the hobby(i guess any hobby). Mental health can be a real bitch sometimes,but dont give up!
I’ve left and come back to the hobby a couple times thru my life. Sometimes life just gets in the way from enjoying hobbies. Nothing wrong with taking a break for a while.
My current tank input alot of effort into making it almost maintenance free for this exact reason. It’s simple and all I gotta do is watch and enjoy and throw in some food.
Same here. My fish started to die and I just want out I’ve tried everything to medicate and save them and one by one they have died and it’s burned me out and made me want to quit
It’s okay for you to feel that way, and for you to take a break from the hobby. It’s also okay for that ‘break’ to be permanent.
I just want to reassure you that nobody here is going to be judging you harshly… I’m sure that most of us have been where you are!
I know for sure that I have been there… I fought a losing battle against myco for about two years, before finally ‘giving in’, and euthanizing what was left of my fish, whether they were symptomatic or not. It was fucking hard to do. It’s been MONTHS, and I’ve only just started thinking about giving fish another go… I’ve only just gotten around to sterilizing the two quarantine tanks that I put my fish in for monitoring/treating (I sprayed them out with metho, left them sitting in the sun for a few days, and then cleaned them thoroughly with bleach, and followed that with cleaning them with vinegar*), and I’ve only just started replacing the equipment that I’ll need to get the tanks up and running again (I ended up throwing out all of the heaters, filters, and decor that I had in them, because I wasn’t confident that I’d be able to kill all of the bacteria). I’m still probably weeks away from getting my tanks up and running again, which realistically means that I’m still a few months away from buying any more fish.
I’ve also decided that I’m not going to replace my fish like-for-like… I’m done with platies, mollies, and guppies for the time being! Instead, I’m going to try getting into cories, and tetras (I never thought that I’d say the second bit – I’ve had neon tetras in the past, and had nothing but trouble with them, but I’ve since heard that the other species of tetras available are a lot hardier). I think that I might also be ready to buy some more shrimp… I lost mine at the start of the year, because, apparently, female yabbies are a lot less keen on sharing their tanks with shrimp than males are, and the new hasn’t that I bought to replace the one that I used to have is a female, and she kind of ate all of my shrimp…
But, yeah… Burnout is real, and your feelings are valid. Don’t listen to anyone who tries to convince you otherwise.
*don’t worry, I made sure to thoroughly rinse them with water, in between bleaching them, and cleaning them with the vinegar, and again after that. I would like to say that I made sure not to breathe in too much of the metho that I sprayed them out with, but… Even though I took them outside, and tried to do my best… I still somehow managed to get intoxicated by breathing in too much of it, which wasn’t exactly fun. I think that wearing a mask while working would probably have helped me to prevent that, but… Sometimes, we don’t realise things until they’re too late. Hindsight is often clearer than foresight!
So you let everything die because you didn’t do the maintenance you know you have to do? Yes please for the fishes sake please quit the hobby and don’t get live animals anymore! You could have given them away but you didn’t so you get a hobby that doesn’t kill living things if you’re not feeling it and stop killing things because you don’t feel like doing the the maintenance. Jez!
Lexuuus 
That’s a shame, lovely looking tank. What made everything die?
I hear you. Depression sucks as I know from personal experience. Please don’t beat yourself up over this. The thing about hobbies/interests and depression that’s been useful for me is to put whatever isn’t working on hold and remind myself depression is *cyclical*.
Your aquarium interest will reignite, or it won’t, in the long run. You’re not obligated to keep it up if it is no longer fun, just because you invested X amount of time/money, and you also don’t have to decide this minute whether you are permanently done with the hobby. This is NOT a *fail*, it’s a *hiatus*. Put the empty tank in a closet for a while, or somewhere else you don’t have to look at it daily. If after a year or two (or ten, even, if you’ve got storage), you still can’t muster up some enthusiasm, ditch the hobby and move on to something else. People change their focus all the time, and you’re allowed to, as well.
My aquarium used to be so lush, well maintained, and healthy, until one day when I went home everything was brown and dead. It was one of the things that used to make me happy and would stare at it for hours in admiration.
I’ve been going through depression and having a hard time maintaining it. Every time I look at it I feel so disappointed and have no energy to fix, trim, and change the water. I think I want to stop my hobby for a while because I don’t think I have the will and energy to take care of it since I can’t take care of myself. 😔
MD from MD’s Fish Tanks on YT says as soon as u realize ur aquarium is no longer making u happy, strip it down ASAP & rescape it. We get jaded with the same look for too long & once that happens, we begin to procrastinate with our maintenance & kinda just stop caring altogether. I just rescaped one of my tanks for this very reason & about to rescape another. We almost don’t recognize it when it first happens, but as soon as u do realize ur not happy, that means it’s time for a change. And then without even knowing it, u get all excited again at the thought of a brand new setup. Or at least I did, so it worked for me. GL OP 🙂
I’ve been going through the same exact thing. Haven’t had the energy to maintain my tanks and such. I don’t know if it means anything but you’re not alone at least
Yes I’m the same. I luckily didn’t loose any fish but my plants took a hit hard when my mental went downhill. I’m slowly getting back on track after some help from my local VA and I’ve chosen to try meds to help with my depression, anxiety, and ptsd and my aquariums actually are a great tool to help me take my mind away from whatever may be bothering me that day. So try to use it as motivation to get out of bed and make your tank again don’t give up on the hobby and don’t give up on trying to be happy it takes work but in the end it will all pay off
I just listened to a podcast episode of Aquarium Guys where they talk about burn out. This goes beyond that, so please take care of yourself. Try to get some sun, go for walks, laugh, spend time in nature, eat as healthy as possible, and cut back on maintenance for the tanks. When you decide to try again, set yourself up for success with a low maintenance tank. The hobby shouldn’t feel more like a burden than a help to you. Be well!
It’s OK hun.. It’s more important to take care of yourself. Try not to be hard on yourself because it’s not your fault.
I understand depression completely..and it’s going to be OK. I promise you that. Just clean it up and put it in the garage or basement until you decide what you want to do with it. Keeping it in your area is only going to make you feel worse.
It’s going to be OK, hun. It really is.
I hope you take time to take care of yourself. Reading the comments on here really warmed my heart seeing how supportive this community is of each other.
Take your time until you feel up to it. My betta died in my 5 gallon and I didn’t feel like maintaining my tank anymore, I wouldn’t even top it off and now it has calcium deposits halfway through the tank. I got the energy 2 months later to do it again and decided to go bigger this time and set up a rimless 10 gallon. I loved it and got a new gourami and was just about to add more fish after waiting a month of it cycling when it started leaking and I had to take it down. I felt like I was forcing myself to remake it, but I didn’t want my plants or fish to die in their temporary bucket. Take your time, and when you feel up to doing it again just tell yourself it’ll be a lot better this time.
I was in the same boat a few years ago. Tank looked awful after neglecting a tank due to depression and every time I’d look at it, it made it worse and made my anxiety sky rocket for the rest of the day. What helped was to just get it over with, taking down the tank that is. It then sat in the corner of my room(living at my parents at the time) for years, empty. Just a few big lava rocks that now had calcium build up covering them. Whatever leftover equipment and crap. I just left it there because I knew in a small part of me that I still loved fish tanks and wanted to get back into it. It took a few years, but when I moved out, I got back into it. Here I am, 4+ years later at 21yr old, loving this hobby. It may not be the same for you, but if there’s still that small part of you that wants to do it again in the future, just store it 🙂 or like others said, just do plants, set the light on a timer, throw in some root tabs every few months and top off the water once a week. Focus on you though 🙂 do what you feel like you want to do.
It’s okay to quit if you’re feeling burned out! I started back when I was still a kid (parents were into it)…and I’ve been in and out of the hobby at different points in my life, over the years.
I seem to always come back to it, as overall I find it to be very stress relieving and therapeutic for me personally. But I’ve still had times where I had made mistakes, got too busy and overwhelmed with other things in life, or experienced a really bad disease breakout that wiped out an entire tank. 🙁
Sometimes taking a break for a while is the best thing to do in those cases. Fish deaths are unfortunately a part of the hobby at times, despite our best efforts, and it’s just something we’ve all experienced before, especially when we are new and learning. But it can be hard and turn people off from the hobby.
For me I’ve found it was definitely easier each time I came back to the hobby. Every time I got to try out something new or different, and it reinvigorated my passion. New products pop up, new trends, new groups/communities, new YouTubers/influencers. The hobby is constantly evolving.
You can definitely come back and try again in the future when you feel excited about it again! Many of us have been there, and came back again. And if you don’t, that’s okay too, there are plenty of other hobbies out there to explore.
I have 8 freshwater 40s in my garage if I didn’t have them on a drip system and everything on timers no way I’d survive. Honestly best thing to do is invest in automatic everything I have a drip in and out system setup plus all my lights are on timers. Also my two show tanks I’ve added these to and it’s made my life way easier next step is auto doser the all I have to do is gravel vac every few months and I’m all set.
Nothing wrong with storing your tank away while you get your head straight. Just set my tank back up after a year and a half bout with depression. It’s unfortunate that depression makes us quit the things we love the most. Nothing but love and best wishes friend.
Things get better,or you find a way to make them better. I hope one of the two happen for you! Beautiful tank! I was unaware that this happens to alot of other people in the hobby(i guess any hobby). Mental health can be a real bitch sometimes,but dont give up!
I’ve left and come back to the hobby a couple times thru my life. Sometimes life just gets in the way from enjoying hobbies. Nothing wrong with taking a break for a while.
My current tank input alot of effort into making it almost maintenance free for this exact reason. It’s simple and all I gotta do is watch and enjoy and throw in some food.
Same here. My fish started to die and I just want out I’ve tried everything to medicate and save them and one by one they have died and it’s burned me out and made me want to quit
Never quit.
Sending you love and light <3
Don’t quit. Stay. Persevere. Have faith. I have a disgusting tank I’m gonna make into a shrimp tank next January.
Noone ever quits. They just take a break.
Be like that fam. I been out a while and love you alls pics. It’ll all work out. We’re rooting for you!
It’s okay for you to feel that way, and for you to take a break from the hobby. It’s also okay for that ‘break’ to be permanent.
I just want to reassure you that nobody here is going to be judging you harshly… I’m sure that most of us have been where you are!
I know for sure that I have been there… I fought a losing battle against myco for about two years, before finally ‘giving in’, and euthanizing what was left of my fish, whether they were symptomatic or not. It was fucking hard to do. It’s been MONTHS, and I’ve only just started thinking about giving fish another go… I’ve only just gotten around to sterilizing the two quarantine tanks that I put my fish in for monitoring/treating (I sprayed them out with metho, left them sitting in the sun for a few days, and then cleaned them thoroughly with bleach, and followed that with cleaning them with vinegar*), and I’ve only just started replacing the equipment that I’ll need to get the tanks up and running again (I ended up throwing out all of the heaters, filters, and decor that I had in them, because I wasn’t confident that I’d be able to kill all of the bacteria). I’m still probably weeks away from getting my tanks up and running again, which realistically means that I’m still a few months away from buying any more fish.
I’ve also decided that I’m not going to replace my fish like-for-like… I’m done with platies, mollies, and guppies for the time being! Instead, I’m going to try getting into cories, and tetras (I never thought that I’d say the second bit – I’ve had neon tetras in the past, and had nothing but trouble with them, but I’ve since heard that the other species of tetras available are a lot hardier). I think that I might also be ready to buy some more shrimp… I lost mine at the start of the year, because, apparently, female yabbies are a lot less keen on sharing their tanks with shrimp than males are, and the new hasn’t that I bought to replace the one that I used to have is a female, and she kind of ate all of my shrimp…
But, yeah… Burnout is real, and your feelings are valid. Don’t listen to anyone who tries to convince you otherwise.
*don’t worry, I made sure to thoroughly rinse them with water, in between bleaching them, and cleaning them with the vinegar, and again after that. I would like to say that I made sure not to breathe in too much of the metho that I sprayed them out with, but… Even though I took them outside, and tried to do my best… I still somehow managed to get intoxicated by breathing in too much of it, which wasn’t exactly fun. I think that wearing a mask while working would probably have helped me to prevent that, but… Sometimes, we don’t realise things until they’re too late. Hindsight is often clearer than foresight!
Sometimes it can be reinvigorating to totally rescape and get new type of fish. Go in a new direction
So you let everything die because you didn’t do the maintenance you know you have to do? Yes please for the fishes sake please quit the hobby and don’t get live animals anymore! You could have given them away but you didn’t so you get a hobby that doesn’t kill living things if you’re not feeling it and stop killing things because you don’t feel like doing the the maintenance. Jez!
I am struggling with my vallis plants. Planted them a few weeks ago and they are still malting. Should I just wait? Thank you.